Life After Divorce

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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Life after divorce is a confusing time and many people are left with conflicting emotions. Further, divorce also changes the dynamic of the several relationships that are established through marriage. Life post-divorce is a test of endurance and resilience and only the fittest manage to move on with relatively few scars.

Lack of Intimacy and Emotional Support

The best aspect of a good marriage is the intimacy that a couple share and the emotional support they draw from each other. A couple is defined by the bond they share and their lives evolve from this bond. Every good experience becomes enhanced because there is a partner to share it with. Over time, people become unconsciously dependent on this feeling of togetherness and shared moments. One of the biggest changes, which occurs after divorce, is that a person feels alone and devoid of support. From thinking in terms of us to start thinking in term of I again, can be a difficult process.

The lack of physical intimacy can add to the feeling of loneliness. It is a big aspect of a marital relationship and helps to build a bond between couples. After ...
... divorce, a person wonders if the same intimacy is possible again. The change to leading a single life again can take time for coming to terms with.

Division of Income and Assets

More often than not, the division of income and assets leads to a lot of bitterness during a divorce. When income is divided, the individuals are left with less disposable income compared to earlier period when the couple had a consolidated income and enjoyed a certain quality of life. Earlier, one home was run on a shared income and after divorce two homes are run on a divided income. This makes it very difficult to cope and involves a lot of changes. A person may have to cut down on expenses, work harder, live in a smaller accommodation etc., to live on a smaller budget.

Division of assets also means that a person has half the asset value after divorce. This can affect lifestyles and investment options. Divided assets may also mean having to change future plans accordingly. The money aspects of divorce can cause a lot of insecurity about the future. This is a big change from when shared income and assets allowed for a more abundant lifestyle.

New Romance

Marriage is about being monogamous and being completely faithful to a spouse in body, soul and mind. This, in fact, is the premise that the union is built on. When divorce occurs, suddenly a person becomes free to meet new people and forge new relationships. Initially, it can be very difficult to change the mindset from being in an exclusive relationship to dating new people. Further, divorce leaves behind a lot of emotional scars and some people find it difficult to trust again.

Beginning a new relationship after a divorce is a huge change as one has to make with the past and be open to the future. This is easier said than done and some people take longer than others to move on.

The Equation with Children

Perhaps, the most difficult change as a consequence of divorce is that children do not have both their parents under a single roof anymore. The parent who has custody of children has to make huge lifestyle changes to cope as a single parent. Many times, it requires the custodian to play the role of both father and mother. After having had someone to share responsibilities and the concerns of the children with, it is a learning experience to do it all alone. A person also has to juggle different responsibilities to manage a career and home single-handedly. This is not an easy change.

The spouse who does not have custody of the children, has to contend with seeing them at fixed times. Returning home to an empty house without children can be a hard change to accept. A person also becomes less involved with the everyday activities of the children due to not being physically present.

Personal Freedom

Perhaps, the biggest positive change after divorce is that a person has greater personal freedom. Every choice that a person makes is not tied to the marriage. A person may not have had time for friends or may have felt forced to socialise with a spouse's friends. However, after divorce there is space and freedom to follow one's desires without worrying about the marital responsibilities.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk