Recovering From The Wounds Of Infidelity

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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Individual needs and aspirations are changing at a fast pace and society cannot completely close its doors on people with an experimental and innovative bent of mind.

So in these times of ambiguous ethics, people who are loyal to the conventional institutions of marriage and family can be affected adversely. This is particularly true of married couples, one of whom has been unfaithful to the trusting better half.

Infidelity is not Normal

Diehard traditionalists will be appalled by the manner in which contemporary society tolerates instances of infidelity. So mild and ineffective is the legal and social reaction against the instances of infidelity that the message that young people mostly get is, that it is fairly normal to sleep with people other than your spouse.

Lest people think that I am espousing values from the Middle Ages, let me dispel such notions. My appeal against infidelity draws its inspiration from very up to date ethics and trends.

Today the breach of copyright laws is universally considered to be illegal. Violation of intellectual property statues is considered to ...
... be a crime. Refuting the visa and immigration regulations is punishable under law in all Western countries. Even disrespecting the municipal parking provisions invites stringent fines.

Yet, it is so strange that the very society that appears so well regulated is so lenient with the disruption of the marital vows and trust in a marriage. Especially, when these trespasses could have serious repercussions for the entire society and have the potential to destabilize the domestic landscape throughout the nation.

Infidelity for Physical Intimacy: a Myth

Popular media seem to be bent upon tagging infidelity as a result of a desperate need for physical intimacy on the part of an unfaithful spouse. Though there exist people who are addicted to a need for multiple partners, yet, the underlying fact is that straying is often an outcome of a much larger problem in the marital relationship.

So, if your marriage is being rocked by an extramarital relationship, stop focusing on your so called desire for physical intimacy or on your lack of attraction for a spouse. A successful path to recovery necessitates a sincere and honest analysis of the deficiencies that are eroding the fundamentals of your relationship. Open communication lines and a desire to get over this temporary ordeal will certainly help.

Martha's Experience as a Betrayed Spouse

Being married to Jim for the last ten years, the news of his infidelity came as a shock to Martha. Her initial attempts at denying it, soon gave way to chronic depression and pain. After having been committed to her marriage for years, she doesn't deserve to feel like a pair of old shoes - dumped after use. Confiding in her friends and family somehow succeeded in rescuing her shattered self esteem and sense of self worth.

Staying in a supportive atmosphere for some time, she has finally realized that this happened not because of any fault on her part. Betrayal was Jim's way of coming to terms with his deep seated feelings of insufficiency and worthlessness. Being approached by Jim many times, she now intends to rescues her marriage. Although, she is sure, it will take weeks of counseling and communication with Jim to revive that faith and trust in their relationship.

Jim's Experience with Infidelity

Jim never knew when his friendly relationship with his coworker Nora, crossed all limits. At first everything seemed to be justified and almost addictive. But the resulting sense of guilt and the ensuing repercussions in the form of a gross neglect of family and professional duties awakened him to his mistake. Motivated by a desperate need for confession, he somehow mustered the courage to talk about it to Martha. Once the initial uproar subsided, he decided to save his marriage. Still he knows that the road to healing is fraught with countless trials, painful revelations and tough adjustments.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk