Telling Your Partner You Want To Divorce

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
Comment this article

The decision to divorce and explaining your reasons to your partner is likely to be emotionally demanding for both the individuals involved in the relationship. Hence, most individuals try to put off this part of divorce and thus, end up spoiling the situation even further. Here are a few tips that may make this ordeal a bit easier.

How to tell your Partner that you want a Divorce

Before coming to the issue at hand, let us have a look at the right time as to when you decide that you want a divorce. Many individuals tend to be impulsive while taking this decision and later regret the choice they have made. Thus, it is better to think over it for some time before taking any action.

The time at which a person decides to divorce his/her partner is different for every individual and every relationship. Hence, one cannot generalise the same. Thus, a person should decide to divorce his/her spouse when he thinks that he/she cannot continue with the marriage.

When you tell your partner about the divorce, many things can be done in order to avoid or reduce the trauma that you and your partner go through. ...
... One of the primary steps that can be taken for this is sustaining your anger which can lead to further complications.

Another way of mitigating the risk of arguments is by stating all the problems that you have with your spouse clearly and truthfully rather than hiding behind false excuses. Also, if you have made up your mind about divorce, expressing your desire upfront to your spouse helps. On the other hand, pretending to have hope about the marriage working out may cause many problems later.

Expressing concern about the partner's various possible problems such as alcoholism; illness etc. will also prove to be useful. Expressing that you wish your spouse's happiness rather than wishing to cause them pain is helpful as well.

Breaking the news in a public space proves to be better than saying the same in a private place. For example, you can take him/her out to dinner or to a park or some such social place. In such spaces, private conversation is possible also, people are less inclined towards arguments because of the people that are present around you. Also, rather than choosing a place which you have frequented earlier and have fond memories attached to it, you can choose a one that is new to both of you.

Speaking out openly during the initial discussion about divorce is not advisable in every case. If one feels that such a discussion will lead to arguments, it is preferable to avoid it for the time being. One should even be prepared to take the blame for it for sometime even if you believe that there are no mistakes from your part in it. This will help in reducing emotional trauma during and after the divorce.

Breaking the News: What you need to keep in mind

Breaking the news about your decision to go in for a divorce can invoke mixed reactions from your partner. If you have been having squabbles at your home, then more probably this should not come in as a surprise for your partner.

You need to do quite an amount of rehearsal on your own to prepare for this situation. Make a list of points on paper supporting your decision to go for the divorce. Also, prepare on a list of points as to how the decision is going to benefit both of you in the long run. This is very essential step that needs to be carried out in order to even have your partner convinced in the first place. If he or she is not convinced, be sure that this is not going over to the next step.

When you break this news over to your partner, be ready to accept any back firing from him or her. This is quite anticipated. Do not lose your cool. Most couples do not realise that this is the most strategic point during a divorce proceeding. Much of the transition in your divorce proceedings much depends on how you put across this decision for the first time across to your partner.

Telling your decision to your partner can be really testing and can account to a do or die situation. Be very cautious in every step that you take. Any wrong step taken, you will have to face the repercussions. All the Best!

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com