To Divorce Or Not To Divorce

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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Changes Brought About By Divorce

Divorce rakes in great changes. After the disunion, you have to establish a new identity as an individual. Your relationship with the most important people in your life undergoes a drastic change. Added to this, your very daily routine gets subjected to great variations. These cause great stress. In fact, every member of the family is stressed out. Even children, who bear the brunt of divorce, suffer under its severe impact. The absence of a parent is not a situation they can be expected to cope with. Living with a single parent impairs them for life and they grow up into insecure adults.

Before you think of petitioning a divorce, make a thorough assessment of your married life. Identify the varied benefits marriage has conferred on you and your children. Think of the inherent good traits in your spouse. Next, determine the problem areas of your marital relationship. Work on these problems. Calculate the time and effort required to work on the difficulties of your married life against the level of effort required in the post divorce phase. Always remember that divorce badly ...
... disrupts life.

Divorce Disrupts Life

Apart from the disruption in your home front, divorce also affects your work and productivity. Employees contribute less productively after their divorce. In the span of their diminished productivity they lose as much as 168 hours annually. On an average, divorcees work less productively for 3 years following their marital dissolution. Divorce thus affects your career, which in turn has a cyclical effect on your emotional and physical health.

Another angle worth mentioning at this juncture is the harm divorce does to your financial health. If you and your partner mistrust each other, you might not be able to effectively negotiate a proper settlement. You would then have to appeal for a judicial solution and this further escalates divorce-wrought financial expenditure and disarray.

Divorce-Related Financial Expenditure and Disarray

Did you ever think about the financial dishevelment entailed by divorce? You would have to sell your marital home and shift to a new locality. Half your possessions would be conspicuous in their absence. You would have to divide your furniture, cars, costly paintings, silver ware, etc.

Leading life with a reduced income is also difficult. Usually, (in majority of the families) one person earns more while the lesser or non earning spouse takes care of home and family. Divorce changes the equation; the non earning spouse would have to turn the sole provider and manage the home front too. Children, who were initially cared by their mother, would be entrusted to baby sitters. Handing over infants to baby sitters brings is fraught with it its own risks. Your older school going children would struggle with the changes entailed by a new neighbourhood and school. In view of such massive disruption, do you feel divorce is worth the change?

Is Divorce Worth the Pain?

Many people who encounter problems in their married life think that divorce is the key to happiness. What they fail to anticipate is that while divorce frees them of spousal dissatisfaction, it also unlocks plenty of other vexing issues. It only makes a person temporarily happy for; in the long run it leads them into poverty, poor health and depression. Ponder over these consequences before you arrive at a decision.

Every relationship has problems and it has to be worked upon. You might feel that your married life is riddled with problems that are unsolvable. Try adopting a methodical approach. Work out the advantages of being married. Now, factor in the grey areas. Try to brighten these visibly dark aspects by analysing the situation and finding suitable solutions. Don't you think working on your relationship is easier than trying to mitigate the damaging consequences entailed by marital dissolution. Like the marriage maxim, if you divorce in haste, you might repent in leisure!

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com