To Divorce Or Not?

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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However, there are others who are not ready for a plethora of changes that divorce brings along with it.

There are times when people shudder at the very thought of a divorce because that means you will have to adopt yourself to the lifestyle of a single person. If you have children, it would mean that you would have to raise your children as a single parent. This can be a tough proposition for some people, especially for non-working mothers.

For non-working mothers, divorce would not only mean taking care of their children single-handedly but also looking for a full-time job. If you have been out of the job market for many years, finding a job can be a challenge. Even if you find a job, chances are that the job may not be sufficient to maintain the lifestyle you may have been used to. In such cases, you might have to take up two jobs. While surviving one job can be hard enough if you have been out of the job market for so long, surviving two jobs will definitely be a stretch.

If you are a homemaker, you might not have had to worry about your children so far because you could stay at home to take care ...
... of them. However, with one or two jobs, you will need to hire the services of a babysitter, which can be very expensive.

Most importantly, divorce triggers family break-ups. Not only will your children lack the love and affection of the other parent in their lives post-divorce, your relations with mutual friends and your in-laws might also change. It is very important for your children to grow up with both their parents. Children tend to learn different things from both their parents and while there may be some situations that a mother can handle better, there are others that require a father's attention.

When parents divorce or separate, a child's world comes apart. Your child becomes so used to being in the protected and loving family that the sudden loss of this the shielding nest called home and family can be hard to deal with. It can be very difficult to explain the decision of divorce to your children. Children's reaction will largely depend on their age. Therefore, you will have to explain the divorce as well the arrangement post-divorce in a way that they can comprehend.

There are times when a child might refuse to accept the decision of divorce or might display sudden negative or disturbing behavioural patterns. In such cases, it would be best to seek the help of professional family counsellors who can help you understand the deep-rooted problem associated with your child's behaviour.

A divorce might also mean a change of residence. In most cases, people choose to leave their marital home because they do not want to recollect the painful memories of the marriage or divorce period. If you choose to do the same, looking for alternate living arrangements can be difficult.

Firstly, you will have to analyse your monthly budget for the rent. Secondly, you will have to ensure that you find a living arrangement in an area that is close to your child's present school. If you choose not to do so, finding another school for your child can also be a very daunting task. Your child will find it difficult to adjust to the new living arrangements and lifestyle. The last thing you would want your child to feel would be that he or she is losing his or her friends and neighbourhood as well.

Therefore, the decision to divorce or not should be very well thought through. No matter how many problems you anticipate and prepare yourself for, there will always be other problems that will catch you unaware. Therefore, it is important to be mentally and physically strong before you can think of going ahead with a divorce.

However, if you are a victim of domestic violence, or if your financial assets are in danger, then no matter what the problems ahead, you should go ahead with the divorce process. On the contrary, if there are other problems in your marriage, make sure that you and your spouse spend time and energy in sorting out these problems before going ahead with the decision to divorce.

There are times when we think that certain problems that we face in a marriage do not have any solution. However, what the situation actually lacks is not the solution but the will to find a solution. In some cases, making a marriage work is in fact easier than running in and out of courts and lawyer's offices. In addition, the fee that you might end up spending on divorce proceedings and lawyers' fee can be better spent by hiring a competitive counsellor and giving your marriage a second chance.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk