What Does Money Have To Do With Self-worth?

By Author: Melanie Swan
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Indian expatriate Rehma Mirza is a Dubai-based sustainable style consultant. The 40-year-old, who has been in the UAE for three years, says she has learned to shun the stigma and secrecy attached to money that surrounded her growing up and understood the need to balance earning with staying grounded in a world that still values outward displays of wealth.

If you had to use one word to describe money, what would it be?

Byproduct. For me, money isn’t the goal —
it’s a byproduct of purpose, alignment,
and impact.

If you had to write a letter to money, what would you say?

Dear Money, I know the power you hold. Many spend their lives chasing you, but I’ve learnt to respect you without letting you overshadow human worth. You’ve arrived in abundance and in the form of hard lessons. Through it all, I no longer chase you with fear, but welcome you with calm, clarity, and intention.

How would you describe your relationship with money?

We’ve had a complex relationship — one that’s evolved with self-awareness. I used to see money as a form of safety. Now, ...
... I view it as a reflection of alignment: when I act with purpose, serve with heart, and trust my rhythm, money flows in ways that feel deserved and empowering.

How do you think this relationship was formed?

Growing up, money was rarely discussed — especially by women — which created early guilt around earning or spending. With time and self-work, I’ve learned to replace that silence with clarity and trust.

quote My mother is a master of resourcefulness. I learnt how to stretch, adapt, and still present beautifully, even with little. She taught me that dignity isn’t attached to price tags"

What lessons about money management did you learn from your mother?

My mother is a master of resourcefulness. I learnt how to stretch, adapt, and still present beautifully, even with little. She taught me that dignity isn’t attached to price tags. But I also learnt the downside of financial secrecy — how it creates silence, stress and sometimes, resentment. I now believe in clarity, communication, and conscious decision-making.

Who do you speak to about money matters?

I don’t consider money taboo anymore, but I do see it as sacred. I speak about it with people who value both its emotional and practical weight. I also have open conversations with my teen daughter.

Who has taught you the most about financial management?

Life has been my best teacher.

What has been the most profound experience you’ve had so far in relation to money?

When I experienced inconsistency in money flow, it was unsettling. There were months of doubt and unpredictability. But over time, I discovered the power of alignment — when I stopped chasing and focused on creating with purpose, the right clients and projects found me.

How has living in the UAE changed your relationship with and perception of money?

Dubai has shown me both ambition and excess — but also how to stay grounded. While the pace can be overwhelming, it’s also opened doors I wouldn’t have found elsewhere. Over time, I’ve become more intentional with how I spend, save, and choose opportunities.

If you could give your child or your younger self one piece of advice about money, what would that be and why?

Money is not a measure of your worth. It’s a resource — learn to respect it, but don’t overvalue it.

What do you value spending money on?

From a financial lens, I invest in self-development courses, coaching, and collaborations that grow my work and purpose. I also budget for meaningful travel or wellness resets.

What do you consider splashing out?

Luxury skincare or an occasional spa weekend — intentional indulgences that help me recharge and feel aligned.

Do you long-term plan your finances?

Yes, but I don’t just plan financially. I plan energetically. I reflect seasonally on where my work is flowing, where I want to give more or pull back. I keep a mix of short-term liquidity for needs, and mid-term planning for reinvestment into my business and self.

How much do you save each month?

I follow a flexible structure: around 30 per cent of my monthly income goes into savings or business reinvestment. But I allow that to shift depending on project flow and life seasons.

How much do you plan to have by the time you are 65?

I don’t have a number — I have a vision. I want to be secure enough to choose what I do.

Source: https://www.khaleejtimes.com/lifestyle/women-and-money/money-and-self-worth

Khaleej Times is an English-language daily newspaper based in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (UAE). It was established in 1978 and is one of the oldest and largest newspapers in the UAE. https://www.khaleejtimes.com/