Knowing Why There Is Fear Surrounding Intimacy

By Author: Andrew Bui
Total Articles: 1224
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"With so many things to be scared of in the world, it can be a surprise to some that intimacy ranks very highly among overall fears. Although many of us seem to have a built-in desire to be close to someone, to connect with others, many people fear rejection should they truly be themselves or get "too close."

Take the average person, for instance. At first glance, this person could have many friends, may have a social calendar booked with engagements, and even lends an ear when a friend is in the middle of a difficult situation. It is conceivable, though, that a person like this might have a fear of intimacy.

The gulf that lies between an intimate relationship and one constructed on superficiality is very broad. Where does one finish and the other begin? How can a person find a way to cross the gap that lies between two people?

There's physical intimacy, which offers a distinct closeness to someone else. It makes sense that in order to experience physical intimacy, one is likely easy with emotional intimacy, but this is not always the case (for some people physical intimacy is just business). ...
... So then, what is at the core of non-physical intimacy? What causes someone to be afraid of it - or on the other hand, what motivates someone to dive deep?

An individual well known to me sought to receive instruction on self-awareness as a means to discover why he feels this fear. One very recent course he attended was part of Keith Raniere's Executive Success Programs (a NXIVM affiliated program). What he found out was that if he desires to be close to anyone else, he has to find it in himself, to look within for the solution. That is to say, he had to know himself at a deep level before he could be comfortable sharing who he was with another person without being worried.

Is it possible it's just that simple ? That the root of the fear of intimacy can be summed up as the fear of knowing yourself? But if this is true, it can really relieve your burdens. I mean, you can't control how others view you, or if they "reject" you. The one thing you can master is the level at which you have found an understanding of who you truly are. Rejection is much, much easier to deal with when you truly know who you are on a deep level. And honestly, it can just be very useful to learn about where your personal challenges may lie, to learn which things may be easy or difficult for you by finding our more about yourself. But here's the thing: if you are who you are, wouldn't it just be desirable to know ALL of who you are? That's possibly the best manner to describe intimacy."
Whenever you are interested to find out more visit Keith Raniere or check out through Executive Success Program by NXIVM.