Being Optimistic V. Wearing Rose-colored Glasses

By Author: Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach
Total Articles: 23
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DEFINITIONS

Being optimistic - Believing the doctrine that this world is the best possible world; having an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome

Rose-colored glasses - Putting the most favorable construction upon actions events and people and expecting the best possible outcome when common sense dictates this isn't possible or the reality is that it isn't happening. Refusing to take action when you should and just hoping for the best. Denying what you're experiencing.

COMPARISONS

Taking action to make things change vs. Hoping things will change

Demanding respect vs. Wishing someone would treat you better

Making your dreams come true vs. Just dreaming

EXAMPLE

Randolph approached his sales job with optimism and enthusiasm. He expected to close sales and didn't let rejection get him down. He considered each rejection one step closer to a sale. If he didn't get a sale, or had a big disappointment, he distracted himself, did something fun, and didn't consider ...
... it anything personal about himself or his capabilities. Then he tried again. He attributed a failure to something not personal, not permanent, and not pervasive. He had an optimistic attitude, especially in performance situations, but he worked on his skills too. He was in touch with reality.

When Melanie got sick, she just hoped it would go away and didn't see a doctor. When someone mistreated her she wished it away, or convinced herself that she was misperceiving, or pretended it wasn't happening. When it became apparent her company was failing and that most would be fired, everyone started to interview for a new job except Melanie. She kept thinking it wouldn't happen and everything would work out well. This was flying in the face of reality.

KEY POINT

"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill." ~ Charles Swindoll

BENEFITS

When you use learned optimism instead of rose-colored glasses you know when to continue and when not to. Learned optimism is the facilitator of all the emotional intelligence competencies and makes your life work better. Wearing rose-colored glasses keeps you out of touch with reality, and unable to be proactive or responsive when you need to.

About the Author ©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I offer coaching, distance learning courses, and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine. For daily EQ Tips, send blank email to EQ4U-subscribe@yahoogroups.com . I train and certify EQ coaches through EQ Alive!, http://www.eqcoach.net . Start tomorrow, no residence requirement, global student body.