How Christian Marriage Counseling Can Help

By Author: Roy Milam
Total Articles: 85
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Over the years of my experience in working with couples, I have talked with many people who have stayed in an unhappy marriage so long until resentment built and things got so bad they felt they had no choice but to divorce. These people often don\'t voice their unhappiness, but rather coast along passively and go with the flow hoping that their situation will get better, that something will change and the problems will either go away or magically get solved. Then there are those who try with everything they have to make the marriage work before they leave. These people are problem solvers who feel they owe it to the marriage to try to find solutions to the problems before they throw in the towel.



The one thing both have in common is that they rarely go to marriage counseling. In my experience, I\'ve found that very few people go to marriage counseling before deciding to divorce. In other words they don't really give their marriage a fair chance by working with a professional.



Maintaining a marriage and solving problems within a marriage takes skills that few of us are naturally ...
... born with. We may think we are doing all we can to solve our marriage problems, but a skilled Christian marriage counselor can be of great benefit in teaching us new ways to solve problems and creative ways to meet each other\'s needs. There are many benefits to participating in Christian marriage counseling:



· You can learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner. In marriage counseling you can learn communication skills that will help you not only listen to your spouse but, to also process and understand what your spouse is saying.



· You can learn how to state your needs clearly and openly without resentment or anger.



· You can learn how to communicate assertively without being aggressive or offensive. Both spouses need to be able to talk about their issues without fear of hurting the other spouse. In marriage counseling you will learn that you can express what you need without having to make demands and engage in conflict.



· You can learn to process and work through unresolved issues. Marriage counseling offers a safe environment for expressing any unhappiness you feel. Getting your feelings out into the open with the help of a trained professional may be all you need. You may find that your spouse is more than willing to work together to solve the problems in the marriage. You may also find that your spouse is unwilling to do the work. If so, you are then free to leave the marriage without any guilt because you have given it your best shot.



· You can develop a deeper understanding of who your spouse and what his/her needs are. Better yet, you will likely learn more deeply who you are and what your needs are and how to go about getting your needs met in healthy ways. (for additional benefits visit our website:http://www.MarriageMinistry.org



Relationship skills needed to maintain a fulfilling marriage are learnable. AChristian marriage counselor can teach you those skills while monitoring your progress, mediating conflict and giving objective feedback. But if you wait too long to seek marriage counseling, the odds are stacked against you and no amount of counseling will help. The only way to save your marriage is to seek professional Christian Counseling early. If you are thinking about divorce, spare yourself a future of regret by working with a Christian marriage counselor. Not only can he/she help you come to terms with whether or not to divorce, but can also teach you relationship skills for a healthy marriage.