The Secret Behind Misbehavior

By Author: Mark Arens
Total Articles: 27
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Children are known for getting themselves into tough situations. Kids know just what to do to set off mom or dad, whether on purpose or inadvertently. Oftentimes these are meaningless actions - not closing the kitchen cupboard after pouring a bowl of cereal, leaving clothes on the floor, or picking a fight with a younger brother or sister. But there are also more serious choices that can affect an entire family - drugs, alcohol use or teen pregnancy. When children behave negatively, whether it is serious or trivial, there is always meaning behind it. Children and teens are crying out to be loved.

When a child behaves negatively, especially a young child, he or she is usually trying to get more attention from one or both parents. The child may feel ignored, neglected or even lonely. In this digital age, it can be easy for parents to have kids watching TV, playing video games or staring at a computer screen for a large portion of the day. But without any one-on-one interaction with either parent, the child is not complete. Children will suffer socially in this situation and the parent-child relationship will be in jeopardy. ...
... Parents need to make a conscious effort to be consciously involved with their children and in doing so, they will prevent many negative behaviors.

The role of a parent in a child's life should not be misconstrued. While positive peer groups and social experiences can reinforce a child's behavior and value system, this initially comes from the parents at home. What kids need most is to know that they are special and unique and that their parents will love them unconditionally, no matter what choices they make or how they behave. Parents can still love their children unconditionally by enforcing what is right and wrong, but kids should never question their parent's loyalty and love for them.

When a parent consistently reinforces their love for each of their children, kids will inherently want to behave and act appropriately because they want to honor their parents who they trust and respect. When trust and respect are lost, children do not feel the need to behave in a positive manner because they do not feel accountable to their parents. Parents can show their love to their kids by using positive and encouraging words in their day-to-day interactions. Kids respond to adults in the way they are addressed, so if a parent has a warm, honest conversation with a child, that child is more likely to respond back in the same way. Children may appear complicated and seem difficult to read, but their behavior, both negative and positive, can be attributed to their environment and those around them, especially their parents at home.

Bad behavior may appear simply as an act that is meant to be punished. And while parents should instill consequences for children when they act out, there is always a deeper reason for a child's specific behavior. If parents look deep enough, they may find that the child is expressing a longing for more love and attention from them in the only way they know how.
Mark Arens, owner of ThumbPeople, Inc. & author of Thumbuddy Books & products, shares his heart on the importance of spending time together as a family. ThumbPeople provides traditional children's products and books that help build and fortify strong relationships within the family. Building self worth and self respect within our children is vital. Visit ThumbPeople for more -->> http://www.thumbuddyspecial.com