A Simple Way To Get Over Bitterness And Anger

By Author: Forest Harper
Total Articles: 41
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It happens to each one of us every now and then, and it can be really aggravating. Somebody you have faith in or assumed you had a close relationship with does something to backstab you or disregard you. If this person was not friend or family, you might just expel them from your life and not need to interact with them again. But that isn't necessarily practical if the offendor is part of your family or social circle. Sometimes you have to forgive and forget or else the bitterness could cause you personal harm.

But resentment and fury are strong feelings that will gain control over you if you do not have secrets for dealing with them. I'm going to explain to you about one strategy I have found extremely helpful in beating or minimizing my bitterness, anger, and detest of people I don't have any choice except to have interaction with. I first learned this plan in self-improvement guru Anthony Robbins' bestseller Awaken The Giant Within. To switch your feelings you've got to change what you concentrate on. So when you're wrapped up in bad feelings towards someone, change what you're focusing on by asking yourself ...
... "What do I respect about this person?" Most likely, your answer will be "Nothing!". That is ok. But ask again, this time adjusting the question to "What could you respect about this person if you wanted to?" This time you'll probably think about something respectable about them. Target that aspect of the person, and you'll end up flowing into a different, more positive emotional state.

The reason the second version of the question is so robust is that we regularly resist feelings that cause us discomfort. In this case, for instance, being annoyed gives you the appearance of being more in charge of the problem, so you resist moving away from that fury and passing into a happier state. You are comfortable with the fury. But by asking the question hypothetically, as in "if you wanted to", you are eliminating the resistance since you do not have to personally accept accountability for those ideas you come up with about that person. You are simply blue-skying hypothetically. But the secret is that your feelings will follow your focus, so even though you are just imagining hypothetically, you are now concentrating on something good and your feelings will move into a more positive state.

Let us take a look at an example so you'll get what I mean. Let's say your mother is overprotective of you and won't stop trying to shelter you from the world even though you're a grown adult. I know from my own history that this could cause a large amount of resentment and disappointment. The primary thought of the person is "Stop trying to control me like a tyrant!" But next you ask yourself the question "What do I respect about my mother?" Maybe your answer is "Nothing! She has to leave me alone" then rephrase the question, "What could you respect about her if you wanted to?" Then you'll probably think of something along the lines of "Well, she obvious|clear}ly loves me. She wants me to be safe. She is a caring person." That theoretical imagining has altered your focus and your emotional state, and you probably feel rather more sympathy for her after asking yourself these questions. That does not imply you have got to accept her behaviour, however it will help you deal with it in a rational, positive way instead of melting into fury and sourness that can hurt the relationship and cut back your overall contentment.

Learning to govern your emotional states can give you amazing power over your life and you. The above is only one simple example, but there are a large number ofl other ways to take control of your emotions. I highly recommend Anthony Robbins' book Awaken The Giant Within as a great source of applied methods to help achieve this.
Forest Harper has been deeply concerned in self-development for years , and takes a deep interest in controlling emotional states, as well as changing your beliefs and values to help achieve the life you wish. She maintains a blog Gemstone Meanings, where she discusses the Gem Sapphire Stone and other robust gems.