Guidance For Raising Step-kids

By Author: Kathrine Bartosiewicz
Total Articles: 7
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One thing you need to be aware of, once you begin your role as a step father or step mother, is that you need to go slowly when you first begin. Many times these children have lost a parent through an accident or a separation of their parents. Using patience and a great deal of thought, you can adapt to the situation regardless of how they lost their one parent.

The main criteria in establishing the interaction between your step-kids and you will be determined by how old they are. The chances are good that a baby or toddler is not even going to remember their biological parent and will consider you their natural parent. Go online and talk on the forums to other people who have assumed the role of stepparent to prepare yourself for the responsibilities you will be assuming. Your function with older children will, for the most part, not be as a pseudo-parent but as a friend and confidant. Are your step-kids in their teens? If so, your spouse will most likely keep the role as parent and you will have an ancillary role as friend. To be sure, each family faced with these same circumstances will have different needs, but the ...
... age of the stepchildren will be the deciding factor in how you handle your step-parenting role.

Make sure you take an interest in the lives of your step children. This initial gesture of interest into their lives may not be met favorably, however it will show them that you are at least serious in what they do. You should make it a point to know how they're doing in school, what their interests are, who their friends are and so forth. The reason you are doing this is so that you can move from the role of being a stranger to someone that seems to care.

The children will start to pay attention to you, especially after you begin asking questions and interact with them. Remember, the kids probably won't open up to you right away, so it's up to you to show them that you're interested. If you stay consistent, your efforts to build this relationship will prevail, even though they may act as if they do not care.

Later on, it is important that you sit down with your spouse and figure out the best way that both of you can work together in raising the children. As with all relationships, there will be times when differences of opinion will arise or things that catch you by surprise.

In general, as the step parent, you should defer to the children's biological parent. It is important for the step parent, however, to be able to interact and interject thoughts and opinions at crucial times. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. We've given you some hints on how to make the transition to a stepparent as easy as possible. Just remember, being a stepparent is not easy, but eventually everything will work out. When you become a stepparent, you are entering a world filled with individual personalities. There is no generic step-by-step blueprint you can follow for success. All children respond eventually when they feel nurtured and loved and your stepchildren are no different. The more you just relax and give them the time and space they need to get to know you, without undue pressure on your part, the quicker they will accept you. You can't rush this process. When they are ready, you will probably be the first to know. While you wait for that glad day, just keep giving them the love and support they need.

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