Bereavement

By Author: Sajid Latif
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Bereavement

What is bereavement?

Bereavement means, literally, to be deprived by death. After someone close to you dies, you go through a process of mourning. Grief is the visible sign of that mourning and encompasses a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms that you experience after a loss.

Bereavement is not restricted to people who have lost someone they have known for a long time. It is also experienced by people who have had stillbirths, miscarriages or lost a young baby.

Is it normal to grieve?

Grief is vital in order to accept a deep loss and carry on with your life. If you do not grieve at the time of death, or shortly after, you may keep the grief bottled up inside you. This may cause emotional problems or physical illness later on. Working through your grief can be a painful process, but it makes all the difference to your future emotional and physical well-being.

What are the stages of grief?

There is no single way to grieve. Everyone is different and each person grieves in his or her own way. However, some stages of grief are commonly experienced by people when ...
... they are bereaved. It can be helpful to be aware of these stages and remember that intense emotions and swift changes in mood are normal.

Feeling emotionally numb is usually the first reaction to a loss, and perhaps lasts for a few hours or days. In some ways, this numbness may help you get through the practical arrangements and family pressures that surround the funeral, but if this phase goes on for too long, it could be a problem.

The numbness may be replaced by a deep yearning for the person who has died. You may feel agitated or angry, and find it difficult to concentrate, rela

This period of strong, often volatile emotions usually gives way to bouts of depression, sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends. During this time, you may be prone to sudden outbursts of tears, set off by reminders and memories of the dead person.

Do children grieve in the same way as adults do?

Contrary to what many people think, children are aware when a loved one dies and they feel that loss in much the same way as adults do. Children go through similar stages of grief, although they may progress through them more quickly. Some people make the mistake of trying to protect children from the death and grieving process. Instead, it is better to be honest with children about your own grief, and encourage them to discuss their feelings of pain and distress.

How long does the grieving process take?

The grieving process takes time and should not be hurried. How long it takes depends on you and your situation. In general, though, it takes most people one to two years to recover from a major bereavement.

How can you help a family member or friend who is grieving?

The best thing you can do is spend time with that person, and listen to them work through their grief. Avoid saying phrases like 'with time, you'll get over this'. This is false comfort and denies the person their need to mourn properly. Offer practical help, such as cooking dinner or shopping for food - when a person is grieving, it is usually hard to focus on everyday tasks. Finally, if the person is reacting in extreme ways for a prolonged period, encourage him or her to seek professional help.

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