How To Gain Self Confidence As An Adult

By Author: Susan Nickerson
Total Articles: 21
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Most of us, regardless of what we portray to others, suffer from an unhealthy lack of self confidence in our lives. Often, we try to give off the false appearance of having strong self confidence to hide this fact from our colleagues, peers, and family members. We are driven by the fear that others will discover the truth and treat us with less respect.

If you are like most people, you understand exactly what this feels like and how it cripples you in your daily life. Fortunately, you can easily correct this and discover how to gain self confidence as an adult. This will have everyone around you in awe and admiration of your sense of personal strength.

You will be amazed at how easy it is to become a stronger and more confident person by simply implementing the following changes in your daily life:

Be More Decisive

The actual nature of your decision isn't as important as the fact that you make it and stick to it. As you start acting decisively on a regular basis, you will realize that the decisions you are making are generally correct — and lead to greater success in accomplishing your goals. ...
... Making firm decisions is therefore certain to boost your self-esteem and gain admiration from others.

Eliminate Fear and Anxiety from Your Daily Life

Fear is the primary emotion preventing you from accomplishing your goals. If you think you are forever trapped in your current situation, you most likely will be. To rid yourself of your fear:

First, clearly identify in your mind the cause of your fear or anxiety. Second, surprise your fear by doing exactly what you don't usually do. In order to accomplish this step, it is important that you don't prejudge the outcome of your act (that is, assume you have no idea what will result from your act).

Typically, your fear of punishment or failure or rejection prevents you from doing what you are afraid of trying. But if you don't have any expectations of how your actions will turn out, you can't fear failure.

Become a Person of Action

Action of itself clears uncertainty. Therefore, you must act without concern for possible error.

Most people don't worry about a mistake itself - we realize that errors are often helpful lessons. What bothers us is the possibility that we might appear foolish to ourselves or others. The courageous person is someone who is willing to expose himself to big mistakes.
It is more important to focus on the means of accomplishing your actions than the results that stem from them. You need to adopt a stance of indifference to the results of your actions. Over time, you will come to see that you inevitably will experience more success than failure.
When you are indifferent to something, you generally have no fear of it. This lack of fear is in a sense a type of courage, and this courage will lead to improved performance, more success, and a growing self confidence.

Change the Nature of Your Interactions with People

Honestly examine and face the kind of person you are, develop an acceptance of that person, and then present only your true self to others. Don't try and be someone who you are not. Others will always see right through this.

Don't try too hard to please people. Instead, be emotionally honest and act the way you naturally feel. Being your true self is always much more attractive to others than acting in a way you think others will find attractive.

The following five steps will help you develop the kind of personality that attracts others:

Step 1: Make a list of 12-15 people that you want to attract.
Step 2: Do nothing to attract them. Do the opposite of what you would normally do - go about your life without them.
Step 3: If you hear from these people, be friendly and independent - tell them you've been busy living.
Step 4: You now have an even give-and-take relationship with these people. Keep it that way.
Step 5: Cross those people that don't call you off the list. Your relationship with them is not mutual, and your goal is to eliminate all one-sided relationships in your life.

Now you've discovered how to gain self confidence as an adult. By following these steps, you will soon discover that many people in your life find you far more attractive than you ever thought they did. This discovery will certainly boost your self confidence.

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