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Pursuing Couples Counseling
Whether or not couples counseling will work for you really depends on the nature and intensity of your problems as a couple and how much you're willing to put into the healing process. When considering therapy, make sure you understand that it is not always a sure fix. Couples that pursue therapy don't always end up together after it's all said and done. The goal of marriage counseling is to help you both gain a clear sense of what direction the relationship will take. Even if you're pursuing counseling just to facilitate an amicable divorce or separation, you can learn to leave the relationship with respect and appreciation for each other. This is particularly important when there are children in the picture.
Couples, however, who wish to repair their marriages can reap the benefits of relationship counseling by opening themselves up to change and letting go of pride. Couples who experience success with marriage therapy enjoy greater closeness and room for future growth. If you're experiencing problems in your marriage and are considering therapy, it's best not to wait. The longer the issues have time to linger, ...
... the more deeply rooted they become, and thus more difficult to reverse. Taking steps to correct problems early and learning how to deal with future ones increases your chances for a virtually unshakable marriage.
Where I live in Raleigh, NC, relationship counseling is not an uncommon practice among the thirty-something couples. My social circle tends to consist of people who are intelligent and not too proud to seek help from those whom they trust. When my husband and I started having problems that we couldn't resolve between the two of us, we wasted little time looking for outside intervention. My best friend and his wife, both of whom we are both very close with, recommended a marriage counselor in the area.
After a few weeks of marriage therapy, we both began to get pretty comfortable with the process. We learned about and practiced new ways to communicate and problem solve. Having only been married 8 months, I knew that this was just a part of the foundation we were building. It was a good thing. Husbands don't come with a manual, and nor do wives I suppose, that's why it's important that couples take every opportunity to learn more about each other every step of the way. Cultivating patience and acceptance is also crucial to longevity in marriage.
Counseling has worked so well for us that we've decided to continue with it for a while. Why change what works, right? We've never communicated better, not even when we were dating, and we are having a lot of fun. When other couples ask us if marriage counseling is really worth it, we're obviously quite enthusiastic. Granted, it's not for everyone. Every couple's dynamics are different.
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