Acquiring Soft Skills

By Author: AndrewLouis
Total Articles: 12
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It is often said that in all our conversations what really stays with the parties concerned is how they felt at the end of the interaction rather than what exactly was said. Although what is said is important, it is the nonverbal cues that leave a deep impression at both the subconscious and conscious levels. Thus, the importance of soft skills cannot be emphasized enough. Here are some ways to consciously build your soft skills:
Listen actively – It is important that you not only allow the other person to speak but also pay attention to what he/she is trying to say. It is important to listen carefully, make mental notes, and then clarify your points when it is your turn to speak. Interrupting while the other person is talking is disconcerting not only to the speaker but also to others who might be making an effort to listen and understand what is being said. Your inattentiveness and impatience are not just irritants but sources of negative messages that can undermine the other person’s confidence in you. In a conversation, soft skills are all about building relationships and this can happen if you show interest in ...
... understanding the other’s point of view, even if you do not agree with it. If you listen you will be able to rather enough information to ask insightful and pertinent questions. If you follow the rules of good conversation, then when it is your turn to make a point, you will receive as much attention as you gave.
Communicate Skillfully – When it is your turn to speak, choose the right words to communicate your ideas and inputs. A command over language goes a long way in communicating with clarity. While correct grammar and smart lines will impress others, you need to be aware of how you reveal your attitudes in the words you choose. For example, you may describe an employee or a team as working “for” you or “with” you, but ideas communicated by the two terms are vastly different. While the former projects you as a central authority, the latter reveals your collaborative nature. Such verbal clues hint at your attitude towards coworkers; so the words that you use can hinder or promote your relationship with peers.
The tone of your voice is just as important, in fact, it says more than what mere words can convey. If the tone is wrong, you may congratulate an employee’s work and yet leave him discouraged; and if the tone is right, you may even point out a shortcoming in a colleague’s work and yet encourage that person to work harder. You must guard against speaking in tones that have implied negative meanings. Remember that you might seem patronizing or cynical when giving your feedback. Your tone will determine how efficiently you can put your point across. So keep your language neutral. Avoid referring to other people negatively; instead, focus on the details of the issue under discussion and not on those of people’s failings. Do not associate a suggestion with the person who is giving it. Consider it objectively and try to add to it intelligently. Most importantly, do not jump to conclusions, instead seek as much clarification as possible so that when you respond you have actually understood what is being said. Do not respond impulsively and certainly not disapprovingly because the damage inflicted by unfair criticism (or fair criticism given thoughtlessly) is often irreversible.
Build up a team – You are part of team whether you like it or not. It is not enough to just about adjust to the other members of the team; you need to give creative direction to productive ends. Involve others in what you say, make it a team effort. If you do have to run a team later, it wouldn’t be much different. You might have to delegate work and consider strengths and weaknesses of your team members, but most importantly, you will need to be receptive and treat all of them equally. Acknowledgment of contribution promotes collaboration and strengthens the bond between team members. Give appreciation where it is due and you will see that your transition into a leadership position is smooth.
Conflict Prevention/ Intervention/ Resolution – In an ideal situation you will always be able to prevent conflicts; in less ideal situations you will be required to intervene and resolve them. If you have the authority to intervene then others will expect you to act decisively. People will be looking at how you use your authority and in what fashion you carry out intervention. It is not just the act of intervention, but how you intervene that puts your image as a leader at stake. Your mediation will determine whether you can maintain a positive environment or not. Meeting the conflicting parties individually can give the feeling that you are trying to “divide and rule”. Keep the process transparent and stay neutral when allowing both parties to air their opinions on the matter.
Leaderships Skills – As a leader, you need to lead by example. You are a model to others, and people look up to you. Thus you need to be the leader you are expected to be and behave accordingly. It does not mean that you stay stiff and distanced. You can bring in a lot of fun with healthy humor. This must neutralize the tension that is often characteristic of a workplace and motivate others to perform better. Soft skills are essential for a successful team leader. Someone who is good tempered and responsive to others only enhances the performance of the team.
Workplace Ethics – Following an ethical code at the workplace is an essential component of developing your soft skills in any position. Using office equipment for personal use or talking behind a person’s back are the sort of things that will establish you as a person who cannot hold people’s confidence. We give several involuntary signals that reveal our integrity at the workplace. A breach of confidence will make people suspect your dependability and perceive you as manipulative; furthermore, they will think twice before confiding in you, making your understanding of your team very superficial. Things like coming or leaving on time might seem inconsequential to you but they reflect on how disciplined you. You might not get assigned to important tasks and this will surely hinder your growth in the organization.
So always be an empathetic listener and an effective communicator to increase not only your performance but that of the entire team you head.