Teaching Good Manners Doesn't Have To Be Hard

By Author: Ellie Dixon
Total Articles: 21
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Children need to learn how to stand up for their rights, but at the same time learn to take into account and respect the emotions and rights of others too - in other words, they need to learn good manners. It is possible to teach children good manners without subjecting them to the repression of previous years - who can remember being told "children should be seen, but not heard?" Start your toddler on the journey to good manners now with the following tips:

Lay the foundations

Good manners aren't just about being aware of when to say "please" and "thank you" and which cutlery to use with each course. The underlying concept behind good manners is thinking about others. In other words, saying "please" and "thank you" should mean that you care, not that you've simply learned to use these expressions. So, to raise a well-mannered child you need to teach the "why" of etiquette along with the "how". What you're actually trying to install is teach manners that come from inside - you're trying to raise a caring, respectful child. Set a good example

The most effective way to teach your child good manners is ...
... to demonstrate them yourself. So don't forget to say "please" and "thank you" when it's needed, "excuse me" when you bump into someone, chew with your mouth closed and ask for the salt to be passed to you rather than reaching across someone to get hold of it. But most importantly, don't forget to extend your good manners to your toddler. Say "please" when you request him to do something, and "thank you" when he does something for you. Apologise if you accidentally knock over his brick tower and you'll be teaching him consideration, respect and care for other people's feelings.

Speak for your toddler

Initially your child won't understand that good manners include saying "thank you for having me" at the end of a play date - so it's up to you to say it for them. They'll hear you using appropriate responses in social situations and your example will teach your child much more about courtesy than any amount of prodding or nagging. If you're always reminding them "Now, what do you say?" to your toddler they'll find this irritating and maybe embarrassing and may become even more unlikely to make the right response. It doesn't hurt to remind them occasionally, but it's best to wait for a private moment.

Don't pressurise your child

Nagging about using good manners, or punishing your child for not saying "please" and "thank you" will ensure they learn the right responses, but won't install a positive feeling about good manners. This means that your child will be unlikely to behave courteously when you're not around to enforce the rules.

Be consistent

Pressurising your child isn't appropriate, but reminding about good manners is. When you're alone together and your toddler doesn't remember to say please, ask "What's the magic word?" If you get the correct reply, that's good. If you don't, fill in the blank space for your child. At least you'll have shown them that you think good manners are important.

Listen to your toddler

Children who are listened to make better listeners themselves. Being a good listener is an important part of being a polite and considerate individual.

Above all, have realistic expectations. From remembering to say "thank you" to being happy to share a favourite toy, it will take many years of teaching and reminding before your child displays good manners automatically. But do persevere, and one day you'll be very pleased when someone remarks, "My, your child has such good manners!"