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Should I Disguise Characters In My Book Or Memoir? Is It Ok To Write About People I Know?

Writers often ask me if it's ok to write about people they know. Sometimes they're writing a memoir or autobiography. Or perhaps they're writing a novel with a hero or villain based on someone they know.
There are various little tricks you can use to make sure that people don't recognize themselves. You can change physical appearance - stature, hair length, eye colour, etc. You can also change gender, profession, or location. Or you can blend two or more different people together to create a different character.
Believe it or not, the chances are most people won't recognize themselves. I say this as someone who has both written about other people and been written about as a character.
When I have created characters based on people I know, they have never spotted themselves! Never. Not once. Similarly, I failed to recognize a thinly disguised portrait of myself in a Booker-shortlisted novel. Thankfully, the portrait was a flattering one. Though I won't tell you the name of the book - that's a little secret between me and the author!
Another alternative is to use a nom de plume to obscure everyone's ...
... identity including your own. The creative advantage is that this may allow you the emotional freedom to write your book in an uninhibited way. Belle de Jour is a high profile example of a writer who did this. However, I wouldn't recommend this in all but the most extreme cases - as it makes it extremely difficult to do marketing and publicity.
How will you promote your book if you can't speak to the media, for example? How will you manage your website or build a relationship with your readers? People also relate better to book reviews when they see a photo of the author.
If you're on good terms with the people you're writing about, and you don't intend to disguise them, I'd advise asking what their feelings are. As a child, my mother was a newspaper editor who used to pen a weekly column poking fun at our home life. It was trivial domestic stuff, nothing to shake the earth. But as a teenager, let me tell you, it was excruciating.
A lot of this will come down to the personalities of the people you are writing about and what your relationship with them is like. Only you will know the answer to this.
Finally, we come to the issue of libel. Now, libel laws are complex - I can easily write a whole new article on the subject. However, the main question to ask is: can the person be identified by themselves or anyone else? If so, is what you've written damaging to them either professionally or personally?
Rest assured that libel is extremely hard to prove, very expensive, and rarely embarked upon by anyone but the rich and famous. This said, get expert advice if you think you may be writing anything that's likely to end up with a law suit.
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