Successful Connections

By Author: Sumner R. Andrews Jr.
Total Articles: 1
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The term "touchy feely" has a poor connotation. It implies an over emotional response or environment. It is often used in conjunction with newage programs focused on building or reestablishing bonds between people. Anyone who is a "touchy feely" type is viewed with considerable suspicion. This is unfortunate. If I were to define a "touchy feely" type, I would say simply that they are people who break barriers. On a physical level they regularly cross over personal barriers. They touch your arm or get within an uncomfortable distance from you. Psychologically speaking they "Get into your head." This can be a very threatening prospect. The reason is that anyone crossing a personal barrier is viewed as having an agenda. They want something from you. Imagine the horror of facing a "touchy feely" salesman! Or if you were fortunate to have one nearby, remember your grandmother. We don't like the salesman, but we adore the grandmother. However, it's what's in between these two extremes that matters. In fact, these two images do not do justice to the process of human interaction. The truth is that no matter what type of interaction, ...
... contact between two or more people is a complexmulti dimensional laden event. There is sight, sound and smell. There is communication or an attempt at it. There is even physical contact. If you doubt the physical contact in every encounter, consider that the other person only needs to move towards you. Everytime they move, the air surrounding them is pushed towards you. Their personal atmosphere contains odors(natural or unnatural fragrances), sounds(rustling clothes) and images of their expressions and movement. The same applies to you as well. It is the realization of this fact which is most important. "Touchy Feely" is a good thing. It actually implies a response that is in fact primed for success. Timing and appropriateness are the keys to making a successful contact. There is a time to close the distance between yourself and another individual. There is a time to present your agenda. There is an appropriate way to dress and move relative to the purpose of the contact. Ironically, both the successful salesmen and grandmothers have worked out the kinks in their presentations to avoid overwhelming the people they encounter. It's really the bad salesmen and grandmothers we don't like. Step back and think about all the ways you affect the people near you. Summarize the various forms of communication that you use to bring about successful relationships. Take each one and begin researching it. For instance, you will find an endless number of articles about dressing for social and work situations. You will also come across articles that talk about the benefits of the therapeutic touch. Actually, it has been shown that a light touch on another's arm can positively affect the outcome of an encounter. Find out how to be "touchy feely" in a good way.