Practical Steps To Enchantment - Part 2

By Author: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Total Articles: 22
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This is the second article sharing little case studies with you about people who have discovered successful ways to get in touch with their personal enchantment, i.e. positive states of well-being uniquely suited to them. Often times they pulled from their own past experiences positive parts of themselves to rebirth and give new life to.

Having felt quite down in therapy, Frank learned to work on his difficult marriage, and to begin to redefine his own talents and potential. One night Frank talked about a remarkable insight: "I was sitting in the salesroom at work, and suddenly I had an "aha" moment. I realized that I'm definitely not a salesman at heart. I love managing, and that is what I should be doing. Instead, I've been trying to fit myself into the wrong role for years and years. I can see now that I tried to become a salesman because I thought that was the best road to earn money. My father had been a traveling salesman, and I swallowed his definition about what a father should be, and what a husband should be. Now I see that all those 'should bes' were killing my soul.

I've already started to think ...
... about new job opportunities at work. I actually think that there might be a spot for me in another area, so that I won't have to change companies."

Frank was beginning to recognize his own needs, in this case in terms of his workday fulfillment. He is an example of someone on the road to personal enchantment, because he was willing to define his needs, and he was willing to change.

Fran says, "Getting in touch with my Enchanted Self left me feeling free in body and in spirit. I found myself passing a yard sale. I went in and bought a used cheerleader's twirling baton. I couldn't wait to get home and swing the baton in the privacy of my living room, just as I had at the age of twelve."

Eddie remembers the peacefulness and beauty of the beach and the ocean in Belle Harbor, where he spent the first five years of his life. Although he is only sixteen years old, he often consciously returns to these golden days in moments of stress.

In closing, let me tell you about Sally. After a marriage of 25 years that was demeaning and not supportive to her, Sally had finally divorced. She now worked full-time, went to school at night, had friends and beyond her wildness dreams, was actually taking vacations with girlfriends. She had just come back from a wonderful vacation to a remote Caribbean island.

Sally sums up the 'magic' of her life now by saying: "Getting in touch with my Enchanted Self," she says, "made me think about my own history in a way I had never done before. I realize that I have underestimated and diminished my own life and self-worth, perhaps because of many factors going on in a bad marriage. The truth is that I, too, have an 'Enchanted Self.' I love to study, and always did. I love to travel and meet new people. I realized that I had enjoyed even meeting new kids on the block growing up. Why shouldn't I have the pleasure of travel now? I pull out lots of memories of my Enchanted moments in times of stress and unhappiness. Somehow, with this inner strength lifting me up, my problems have become smaller and more manageable."

I hope these little vignettes have also inspired you to reach into your past and use your enchanted moments to strengthen the present, and to design your future in unique and positive ways.

About the Author Dr. Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self and a psychologist since 1981. She is the author of two books: The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy and Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!
Dr. Holstein speaks on radio, and appears on television in NY and NJ. She gives lectures, seminars, retreats and audio interviews on LadybugLive.com and is in private practice in Long Branch, NJ with her husband, Dr. Russell Holstein.