Can't Get No Satisfaction?

By Author: Molly Gordon
Total Articles: 4
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The Rolling Stones touched a resonant chord almost 30 years ago with their hit tune, "Satisfaction." Why do we relate to this so much, so often? More to the point, what can we do about it? A primary cause of chronic dissatisfaction is that the failure to establish conditions of satisfaction for ourselves and for those with whom we live and work. In our intimate relationships we second guess the desires of others and expect them to know what we want in turn without spelling out the details. At work, we grouse and grumble because other people don't perform as we want them to, yet we resist or resent making our expectations and standards clear. (A sure sign that you have a conditions of satisfactions deficit is the refrain, "Why should I have to.") The failure to set conditions of satisfaction causes pain deep within our lives in the way we relate to ourselves. We go on diets without clearly establishing the conditions that will constitute success for us--for the bodies that we are. I don't know about you, but if I diet or exercise with the vague intention of looking like Cindy Crawford I am doomed to fail. If instead I declare ...
... that I will be satisfied when I have the stamina to ski for six hours and fit into my favorite trousers, I have a very good chance of being satisfied. If there's an area of your life in which you are chronically dissatisfied, odds are that you have failed to set conditions of satisfaction. Lacking these conditions, satisfaction is a constantly moving target, and we feel hounded by our dreams rather than inspired by them. It's fine to want to achieve great things--please do!. And before you set out in pursuit of greatness, name the milestones where you will celebrate interim accomplishments, rest and regroup, and set your sights on the next increment of your dream. Otherwise the best intentions and most passionate commitment will get sidelined when burn out sets in.