Feelings Are Not Facts: Understanding The Emotional Compass

By Author: ImPerfect
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As Dale Carnegie insightfully put it, “You are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion”. Human beings are driven by feelings- powerful, nuanced, and deeply subjective. While emotions are valid indicators of our inner state, they aren’t always aligned with reality. The mantra “feelings are not facts” becomes essential in managing overwhelming emotions, particularly when our minds create narratives that may not reflect the truth.

Emotions Vs Facts: What’s the Difference?

Emotions are internal signals shaped by our past, culture, and beliefs. For example, feeling ignored in a meeting might stem from past experiences of exclusion, even if no one intended to ignore us. These emotions help us process situations, but they can also distort our judgment.

Facts, on the other hand, are objective and evidence-based. They are independent of personal bias. For instance, a meeting record showing equal speaking time is a fact. Feeling left out doesn’t change the data.

When Emotions Take the Wheel:

Imagine meeting someone new and sensing they dislike you. You walk away ...
... convinced. But were they truly unfriendly or just preoccupied? This illustrates how emotions can lead us astray. Misinterpreting emotional cues as factual truths can create conflict, anxiety, or misjudgment in relationships.

Tools to Discern Feelings from Facts:

To avoid letting emotions control our decisions, practice the following:

1. Pause and Reflect: Give yourself emotional space. What are you really feeling and why?
2. Label the Emotion: Is it anger? Embarrassment? Fear? Accurate naming leads to better regulation.
3. Check the Evidence: Ask, “What proof do I have?”. If none exists, you are likely interpreting rather than observing.
4. Contextualise your reaction: Are past experiences coloring your view? Recognising this can reduce overreactions.
5. Spot Distorted Thinking: Look for patterns like catastrophizing or black-and-white thinking.
6. Seek Alternatives: Could there be another explanation? Maybe the person was nervous, not rude.
7. Talk it Out: Getting an outside perspective can ground you in reality.

The Science Behind Emotion-Driven Choices:

Research shows that people protect decisions made from feelings more fiercely, even when proven wrong. One study found that individuals who made a bad choice based on emotion (versus logic) felt less regret and were quicker to dismiss criticism. This reveals how tightly we cling to emotionally charged decisions, often resisting correction.

Let Emotions Guide, Not Govern:

Emotions are informative, but not infallible. At ImPerfect Psychotherapy(https://imperfect.co.in/), we help you understand the role emotions play in your thoughts, relationships, and behaviour. Our therapists work alongside you to recognise emotional patterns, challenge false narratives, and build emotional awareness that supports better decision-making.

Whether you are navigating intense feelings, managing stress, or seeking clarity, our therapy sessions are designed to help you build a deeper relationship with yourself- one that honours emotion without being ruled by it. How often have your feelings led you to conclusions that turned out to be untrue-and what did you learn when you realised the difference?

By Krupa Abraham and Urveez Kakalia