Chasing The Rainbows End

By Author: Laurel Aiyana
Total Articles: 3
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Life in the 21st century is fast-paced, and dangerous. People try different ways to find a little piece of heaven in a not-so-perfect world. Different means are used by different people to chase the rainbows end, and find that elusive pot of gold.



We live in a fallen world. Adam and Eve's sin cursed us all and pain and suffering entered the world. To deal with hurts, western civilization often employs economic relief to ease our woes. Men are cursed to toil to live, spawning a competitive marketplace where the king of the hill wins. Children, at a young age, learn to play this game as well, and even when grown, the same rules apply. He who gets the promotion, makes the most money, and has the most toys wins, at least in the world system. But, that old adage, that you can't take it with you, is still a truth to spoil this road to happiness.



Despite this truism, it doesn't stop so many from seeking fulfillment through materialism, when real happiness lies within one's own heart. I, myself, have sacrificed this part of myself, and let it get hardened by the difficulties of life. I ...
... wasn't chasing the proverbial American dream. After all, I've been thrice divorced. The title for my life should be Paradise Lost. I was consumed with responsibility caring for my two children that I've raised alone. I was very proud of that fact too. I gave up my work that I enjoyed doing fiscal and HR work, and taught myself computers because I could make a lot more money, afford a house on my own, and buy that yellow Mustang I've always wanted. You sell your soul for such ambitions. Did chasing that rainbow allow me to follow my passion - absolutely not! What I ended up with, was what many IT professionals achieve - severe burnout, and a boring job that I can hardly stand to drag my butt to each morning.



Alas, there is an antidote for the diseased heart, after years of trying to find it searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - I could actually follow the desires within me, and redefine myself at age 41. I may be a late bloomer, and it may take a lot of work, especially since while I'm doing it, I still have to get up each morning and face the monotony of the day job. At least, if I follow my dreams, the day goes by just a little bit faster, and I appreciate the new me just a little bit more. Don't let your sacrifices in this life be your heart.



Years ago, the critics in my life, and in my own head, encouraged me to deal with responsibilities - the IT profession was the best way to support the children, and carve out the best possible life for myself. The inner critic agreed with them, and I squelched the desires to become a professional writer to the point, I stopped writing all together for 15 years. Everyone kept telling me that there's only a one in a billion shot at becoming a successful writer and getting my novels published. I may have bought into it then, but I've discovered life is too short not to follow your passion. Therefore, I'm giving it a shot, and trying to write something worth reading. Over the years, I've managed to get some poetry published; now I want something more. I've hired a writing coach, and I'm trying to write something, anything, each and every day. I've even started my first novel - the one I've always wanted to write, but wasn't sure I was good enough at my art. I know if I don't try, I'll never know what it's like to actually find who I was destined to be, and I'll live a life full of regrets for having failed to try.



One valuable lesson I will definitely pass on to my children, is to follow your heart, despite all those who try to discourage them. I, for one, will no longer be one of those critics. My son, Sean, is an incredibly gifted singer, song writer, and guitarist. I used to push him to do all he could do to prepare for college, and consider a major in music education, so he could always teach and make a good living, if the band thing didn't pan out. No more will I be my son's critic, and squelch his dreams as being impossible If he must grow his hair long, and wear an earring, and play music all night, I will not rain on his parade. At least, he will know he tried to use his God-given gifts, and didn't let them lie dormant.



My daughter, like myself, has the passion for words. She writes stories in her free time. Thanks to the internet, I can find endless essay contests for her to enter. Sure we'll all meet with some discouragement and rejection, but we'll have the peace and contentment of doing what truly makes us happy - what we were put here on this planet to do. In this, we will find the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow. If we aren't rich, at least our spirits will be. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
At 41, I'm trying to reinvent myself, and follow my passion to write. For years, I've had what I considered the responsible job to pay the bills, and discounting writing as a valid career choice. I now want to follow the dream to become a Christian writer