Bringing Change To Life

By Author: Mark Eyre
Total Articles: 8
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We all know that change is inevitable in life, but no-one enjoys change being foisted on us. Ironically however, we often resist reforms we want to make off our own back. Oh absolutely, we discover ways to sabotage, resist and undermine change, EVEN WHERE WE SAY WE NEED IT, AND VIEW IT AS BENEFICIAL!

In this article, I will try to deal with three queries:

Question 1 - How do we resist change?

We each have our own unique strategies to resist change. Outlined below are some popular resistance strategies. You may recognise them as strategies that you use when faced with change.

More information required - I realise that change might be good. However, I must have more data first, to make certain. The need for more information is a continuous procedure, and a superb way to procrastinate.

It's not so grim - Things aren't as bad as I first thought, so perhaps I don't need to change. This is more popularly known as the 'flight to health', and famously kicks in with married couples who are in difficulty and initially go to marriage therapy. Then, when they arrive to counselling, they decide their ...
... relationship isn't so poor after all!

This correct time - I can't start this diet just now - I have a wedding to go to next weekend. Of course, there will always be an explanation why now isn't the appropriate time. I am completely motivated, but not yet!

The intellectual - The intellectual has loads of energy to debate the ideas underpinning any proposed change, but fails to get round to any practicalities of making a shift. In other words, we never move from thought to acting.

It's the others! - I'm ready to change, and if it weren't for those people we could go ahead. It's their issue, not mine.

Question 2 - Why do we resist change?

Change undermines our sense of control and security, which leaves us vulnerable. Loss of control, vulnerability, and insecurity are emotional responses. But rather than admit our feelings, we resist the change in our own way, using logical argument to explain ourselves both to ourselves and others.

All of us resist change using one approach or another. The risk is that, by utilising our logocal (left-side) brain to explain our feelings-based resistance leaves this resistance submerged, from ourselves|in our subconscious}. So the step of learning to notice our own resistance, when it occurs, can be really helpful - particularly when the change we're talking about is one we say we want. Once we've located our own personal resistance, what steps can we take?

Question 3 - What could we do with our own resistance?

Here are six strategies for dealing with our own resistance, based on my experience of change, with clients and in my own life.

Work up your vision - Call it mission, vision, goals, or whatever. Set out where you want to head in your work and life. Once you identify this direction, set some goals - that way, you build a programme of action, and not just a foggy intention to do something 'sometime'. Always remember that, if you have no idea of direction, all change is bad!

Understand your personal values - Your values are things that are important for you, your moral compass. Get clear on what your values are. Examples of values include achievement, authenticity, integrity, decisiveness, and friendship. Being clear on your personal values will help you to navigate change, and overcome your resistance when you need to.

The ought / should dilemma - Do you really desire a change, or is this something you 'ought' or 'should' do? If it's ought or should, look at why you view it this way. Are you thinking about change merely to get a thumbs up from others? If you don't want to change for your own personal reasons, forget it.

Make a public commitment - When you go public on your plans to change, two things happen. First, things can start moving in a way that makes it easier to make the change. It may be coincidence, or it may be an invisible hand in the ether. But whatever causes it, many people who embark on changes successfully say that 'declaring your intent to change' results in momentum being gained. Second, the people you've told will give you a hard time if you don't follow through on your declaration, resulting in embarrassment. Risk of exposure is a major motivator to action!

Consider your beliefs - We all have beliefs on ourselves, e.g. 'I'm useless in formal networking', or 'I am risk averse'. These beliefs evolve in our heads, often from our early days, or 'bad experiences'. You should critically re-examine beliefs that hold you back. Beliefs are not necessarily true. They are just your personal beliefs, and you can change them. If you think your beliefs are correct, then think about the anorexic who believes they are overweight. Anorexics really do believe this.

Give yourself a break! - Perhaps most crucially, don't go too self-critical on this. It's entirely natural to resist change - we require a degree of stability in the world after all. We're all human, we generally attempt to do the best we can. While we can get better, it doesn't make us bad people. So take it easy on yourself.

In closing this article, I'll give you one last thought. If you want to accelerate to a brilliant future, all you need to do is to stop braking! Reduce your own resistance, and you can be anything you want.
Mark Eyre is a self development writer and coach. He is passionately committed to helping people develop their leadership, power and career to become the best they can be. He owns Brilliant Futures, and can be found at http://www.brilliantfutures.net/