Of Leather Briefcases, Accountants And Assassins

By Author: Zenazindzi Rivera
Total Articles: 4717
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Disclaimer: This expose in no way seeks to reduce the profession of accountants and to advance the profession of assassins. You can obtain further details here http://bloghumor.net. This is minimally a tongue in cheek testing of leather briefcases as worn by accountants and assassins alike. (Remember, you must adore your accountant lest you find manually in nuisance using the domestic Revenue check and you must to adore assassins lest you find manually in nuisance using the Bible's commandment regarding loving your opponent. Sad but true)

Professional Disparateness

Though you might think that assassins and accountants do the same thing - they can execute you, solely in different means and methods - they are very divergent professions using uniformly divergent characteristics. Here are just two of them:

* Accountants contract using the paperwork and numbers. They lug around voluminous papers that threaten to drown anyone who dares read the codes embedded therein and they eat numbers for breakfast, ...
... dine and banquet. And these same papers are miraculously stuffed into the slimmest of leather briefcases!

Assassins contract using the soiled work and revolvers. They lug around homicide tools that can be concealed most conveniently within their coats or the most elegant leather briefcases and they eat souls like the Devil embodied. Or at slightest, that is what Hollywood wishes us to believe; God forbid you ever intersect trail using an murderer out to terminate your reality.

* Accountants use the state of the pen and calculator to execute (okay, make that crunch) numbers. And lest you even provoke think that you can actually make feel of fiscal statements excluding burning the midnight oil (and a few of your functioning intellect cells while you are at it), think again. Accountants use them to confound both you and the domestic Revenue check. And these fiscal statements mutation as busily as you can hold your fingers! Drat, there goes your profit compact by depreciation yet again.

Assassins use the swine state of car bombs, sniper rifles, blades and other weapons

of destruction, bonus a timer herein and there, to execute numbers. If you cannot make feel of fiscal statements, you cannot make feel of the killings each.

Professional Similarities

Now, this is the more interesting part. How can two professions - one homicide inert numbers, the other homicide stimulate numbers - have similarities? If you think hard enough, you will get these:

* Both accountants and assassins have uncommon empathy for leather briefcases. It seems that leather briefcases fulfil the idea of organizing library and ammunitions at the same time! recall the show "Wanted"?

* Both accountants and assassins must be qualified. The past by appropriate government agencies before they can rehearsal their profession. On the other hand, assassins must be qualified to execute by anyone they like whether borne of their own demented minds, fervent beliefs and pecuniary greed.

* And oh yes, both accountants and assassins can execute you. Accountants execute you by spiriting elsewhere your money to bogus corporations while assassins execute you by spiriting your soul, or what it is that makes us being.

In conclusion, if you believe your accountant to be an murderer in disguise equipped to make an ass out of you, then leather briefcases broad of your fiscal papers could be on your following steer, er, agenda.


About Author:
Zenazindzi Rivera contributes articles for Blog Humor. You can view more details here http://www.bloghumor.net.