How To Handle Sibling Rivalry And Fighting

By Author: Fullcirclehypnotherapy
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Some siblings get along like a house on fire, while others can’t stand to be in the same room as their brother or sister. Sibling rivalry and fighting is certainly common, but it can be upsetting and stressful for parents and other family members stuck in the middle, watching as the siblings argue and even lash out at each other.

Fortunately, there are some simple steps you can take to ease the situation, and make life a little more livable for the entire household:

Set clear and agreed ground rules for the type of behavior you expect
When setting rules, involve your children and base the rules on principles and values you want your children to learn and adopt. Discuss each rule so your children understand the reasons for the rules and can ask questions (or raise objections!). This can help them take more responsibility for their own actions, and learn to behave appropriately no matter what the circumstances.

Phrase rules in positive language so everyone is clear on the expectations, for e.g. in our house, we treat each other with kindness and discuss what this means (e.g. using kind words and actions). ...
... Rather than just phrasing rules in the negative, e.g. no hitting or swearing, talk about what your children can do when they are feeling frustrated with their sibling, so they don’t end up with pent-up emotions and eventually blowing up. Coach them in how to deal with annoyances before they become bigger. This will stop them from resorting to hitting or calling names. Be aware that once the rules have been written (it is important to have a record of what has been agreed), they will need to be upheld and further discussions to review the rules may be needed if your children are still struggling.

Be attentive to each child’s individual needs
You may have one child who is much more demanding of your time than another, but it’s really important to try and spend equal amounts of time with each one, doing the things they personally enjoy.

Give each child their own space and time
Playing on their own or going to a friend’s house for tea without their sibling tagging along can give them the time and space they need. Sharing and doing things together is nice between siblings, but it shouldn’t always be forced unless absolutely necessary.

Let them know that you love them, no matter what
Children are extremely vulnerable, even if they don’t act or come across that way, and they must consistently be told (and shown) that they are safe and loved, no matter what.

Try a few fun activities as a family
This isn’t always easy, especially if your children are not on speaking terms or are having a bad day, but time together that’s fun and free of responsibilities can help remind them that there’s more to life than squabbling and fighting – if only for a few hours!

Hold weekly meetings as a family, to discuss any ongoing conflict
Many arguments and rivalries can be reduced by giving your children a chance to sit down in a calm environment with at least one parent present and express their concerns or unhappiness related to their sibling. Also, on the flip side, get them to talk about what they appreciate about each other. It can really help for siblings to hear each other saying positive things about one another. This can be an opportunity to review the rules that have been agreed upon as a family.

Seek professional help if needed
Parenting is tough enough without your children bickering and fighting, and if you’ve reached the end of your tether and nothing you do or say seems to be working, you may need intervention from a mental health professional, or qualified parenting coach. They will help you discover whether there is a more deep-rooted cause to the conflicts and come up with an action plan to help everyone in the family deal with the sibling rivalry so that it doesn’t encroach on their mental health and everyday life, either.

At Full Circle Hypnotherapy, we help mums who are at their wits end because their children refuse to listen to them and are constantly having melt downs. Often mums are also filled with feelings of failure, guilt and shame. Our hypnotherapists in Manchester have two decades worth of experience in working with parents and guiding with parenting plan.

If you are willing to know the parenting responsibilities, visit https://www.fullcirclehypnotherapy.co.uk