New Comics Continue

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EVERY comic book is a horror comic book from the perspective of a tree. Imagine if a plant handed you a book, with brightly colored versions of super-powered plants. Not so creepy… but what if the book was printed on MULCHED UP HUMAN SKIN?!

BWA-HA-HA-HA!
NOTHING TO FEAR

There’s nothing scary about this week’s fine crop of comics. Heck, even a tree might find enjoyment…if it was weird.

Grant Morrison continues his new Bat-book with The Return of Bruce Wayne #2. You mean Bruce Wayne wasn’t going to stay dead forever? You mean that was just a gimmick to sell some comic books? GYP!

The really weird part is to think about how long Bruce Wayne might live once he’s back. SOMEONE is going to write a death for him again in the future…taking all bets! I bet he doesn’t make it out of the current decade before he dies again!

For folks who find an undead Bruce Wayne hurling through time and space as he tries to reconstitute his consciousness, DC has further bizarre adventures ...
... for your approving perusal in DC’s Greatest Imaginary Stories Vol. 2: Batman and Robin TP.
MORE OF MORE

IDW has a brilliant $50 Hardcover book of all their recent Transformers comics, chronologically organized with some material being reprinted for the first time. Check it out in Transformers: The IDW Collection Vol. 1.

Image has another issue of that vore-tastic crime comic Chew with Chew #11. Chew features the recurring adventures of a criminal investigator who receives psychic visions from whatever he eats…which naturally leads to a great deal of cannibalism, necrophagia and a whole mess of other disgusting words you’ll probably have to look up to believe!

They also have a little book called Image United #5 but you’re probably not interested in that. All you big kids should definitely pick up Rob Zombie’s return to comic books in Image’s Whatever Happened to Doctor Von Shock #1, though I do warn you…it’s mature readers only!
MARVEL

Maybe the book I’m looking forward to the most this week is ( Surprisingly not Secret Avengers #1, though I bet that’s going to be fantastic) Amazing Spider-Man Annual #37, as it’s an Untold Tale of Spider-Man’s first team-up with Captain America as written by classic Untold Tales of Spider-Man scribe Kurt Busiek! Untold Tales was one of the best Spidey comics since CLASSIC Stan and Steve days!

Dazzlers back! Dazzler #1 sees this underground cult favorite return to the pages of mainstream comic books in her first solo book since 1980-something! Watch this roller-skating disco singing mutant dazzle her opponents with the magical mutant abilities of transmutative sonic light and feathered hair!

And finally rounding out Marvel’s impressive roster is Fall of the Hulks: The Savage She-Hulks #3, where we find out once and for all: WHAT happened to Jen Walters, a.k.a. classic She-Hulk.

I hope we find out she stopped by my house for tea and conversation. She’s purty.