You Can Bear Pain More Than You Think You Can

By Author: priyanka singh
Total Articles: 1
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Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and it’s spectacular.” – Joseph Campbell
The one thing that I have learned through the experience of my life so far is- ‘you can bear pain more than you think you can.’ Like many others, I have gone through the extremes of life which, before it actually happened, I thought I’ll not be able to survive. But I realized after going through it that I am alive and doing everything that we call normal.

When God gives us the extreme pain, he also gives us the strength to bear it. He shows us the way forward. We may not find the strength and way ahead immediately, but we are able to find it with time. Memory is what gives us pain and time is what fades our memories and relieves us from pain.

When we go through extreme pain, we always ask, “why me?” Nobody dares to ask, “why not me?” What is hidden behind our question “why me” is- ‘it is fine when it happens with anyone else but it is not fine when it happens with me.’ Thinking so is selfish. No one but you has ...
... to face what is destined for you. People can only support you but it’s you who have to find the way forward for yourself.

The ‘why me’ attitude will only lead to a victim’s mentality. On the contrary, the ‘why not me’ attitude may not change your situation or lessen your pain, but it gives you the courage to face the situation, stand from where you fell and start walking again.

Story of Arthur Ashe
Arthur Ashe was a great Tennis player who won three grand slam singles titles. Ashe was the first black player selected to the United States Davis Cup team and the only black man ever to win the singles title at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. In the early 1980s, Ashe discovered that he has contracted HIV during the blood transfusion he received during his heart surgery.

In 1992, when the news of his illness leaked out, he received messages and emails from his fans. He was asked, “why God has chosen him out of all the people, while he has not done anything wrong in his life?” His answer was remarkable and is a philosophy of life in itself.

He replied, “Every year, some million kids aspire to become tennis players. Out of these millions, only a hundred thousand reach some level of proficiency. Out of them, only a few thousand play in some circuit, and only a hundred play the grand slam. Finally, only two reach the final of Wimbledon. When I was standing with a trophy of Wimbledon, I never questioned God, “Why me?” And now at the time of crisis, what right do I have to ask God, “Why me?”

Getting Pain is inevitable, being able to bear it is an art
Going through excruciating pain is not easy. It shakes your belief in God, the order of the universe, and your own self.

You should not ask for fewer problems as problems are the inevitable part of human life. Running away or not accepting the situation is being like a pigeon who thinks that he is able to avoid the danger by closing his eyes.

You will find the problems of varying extremities will remain where they are. You can’t avoid them just by closing your eyes. It needs acceptance so that you remain in charge of your physical and mental capacities. It is important because you can only find your way forward only when you physically and mentally fit to face the situation.

Sometimes the situation that you face is so grave that you feel now there’s no meaning of your life. But you have to understand that your life is not only for yourself, but you can also definitely make a difference in other’s life and hence your own life.

How to find a way forward
1. Be compassionate with you
When something unexpected, unpredicted happens to you, you lose your self worth and direction. You wallow in self-pity. You think and do everything which is not in your favor. You should refrain from being caught in this. You have all the right to live life as normal as others are living. You are not the culprit; it was destiny that led all this.

2. Keep busy
When we face extreme Bear pain, we don’t feel like doing anything. And the biggest mistake that we used to commit is that we actually stop doing anything. In fact, we should keep ourselves completely busy so that we do not have time to wallow in self-pity.

3. Helping others is helping yourself
I always advocate this as a remedy for self-healing. Helping others, especially those who are going through the same kind of pain will relieve some of your pain. You feel better when you do it.

4. Remember, life is not a straight line
Till the time you are alive, life can’t be a straight line. If you are presently going through the pain it doesn’t mean that the situation will remain the same forever. The same is true even if you are in a happy position today. Time never remains the same. It keeps on changing and a lot of things change with time. That why time is called a healer.

5. Discomfort is temporary
If we understand that discomfort is temporary. What comes, does not stay forever. Patience is the key. Wisdom is in not being disappointed forever when things don’t happen your way. Remember- what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

6. Surrender yourself to the situation
The common mistake that we used to commit is that we try to avoid the things that we dislike. Instead, we should try relaxing, accepting, and even surrendering to the situation. We should try to practice acceptance instead of controlling everything.

And never forget the words of Elbert Hubbard- Don not take life too seriously. “You will get out of it alive”