Good Advice For Love's Lovers

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The break-up of a relationship can mean sleepless nights, loss of appetite, even depression. Every person reacts to the crisis differently.

"One cannot expect to function normally in the first phase of a separation," says German psychotherapist® Doris Wolf, author of a book on how to deal with a break-up.

"Even if you are someone who has kept your feelings under control you can experience emotions as never before," says Wolf, pointing out that men and women generally react differently.

Men tend to suppress their pain by working, or with a new relationship, or alcohol. Women, on the other hand, sometimes suffer from depression, fear Breitling Replica Watches of the future, or guilt feelings . In contrast to men, women, however, often have a good friend who will listen, give comfort or advice.

That, says Wolf, is important, because anger, sadness and frustration need to be expressed. Psychologist Dorothea Boehm, from Munich, Germany, advises people to avoid idealizing® the ex-partner.

"Avoid displaying pictures ...
... of yourself and the ex, or of a favorite restaurant you visited together, or of music that you both enjoyed," she say.

Even if you both plan to "stay good friends, it normally doesn't last. That's because one partner might always nurture the hope of restarting the relationship. Boehm says this could stop new experiences, and disappointment will be the outcome.

A much more meaningful approach would be to keep a diary with a section on negative things.
"Writing things down helps put a distance between you and the experience and that is important," says psychologist Gina Kaestele, who holds seminars on getting through the break-up of a relationship.

Creating a separation ritual® could also be important, Kaestele says. She adds, -however, that each person should find her or his own method. One Breitling Bentley Replica person might write a letter that is never sent while another might prefer a drawing as a sort of ritual.

One way to deal with extreme- anger could be to do unusual things like throwing an egg into the bathtub, Kaestele says.

Even cleaning up the egg mess afterwards could be helpful because a separation affects both the soul and the body, which is under extreme tension, Wolf explains.

This is only reduced by exercise and cleaning is exercise. And, nutrition is extremely important during this phase.