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Some Great Guidance If You Have New Stepchildren

By Expert Author: Kathrine Bartosiewicz

It's not unusual in today's world for one or the other marriage partner to already have children. This situation is a lot more common than it used to be. Being a stepparent presents you with some unique challenges. In this article, we'll be discussing some helpful guidelines for building a great relationship with your stepchildren.

Basically, how old your stepchildren are will determine how you interact with them. The chances are good that a baby or toddler is not even going to remember their biological parent and will consider you their natural parent. When you are considering marrying someone who already has children, it's important to think seriously about what your responsibilities will be ahead of time. Your function with older children will, for the most part, not be as a pseudo-parent but as a friend and confidant. The prime parenting duties of older children, in particular teen-agers, will remain with the original parent and the new stepparent will be more of support to the original parent. Of course, the particular dynamics in each family are a little different, but the age of the children has a lot to do with how your role as a step parent will develop.

Those that find themselves trying to fit into a household with teenagers, and not grade school children, may have their work cut out for them. If this is the case, be ready to be ignored as most teenagers are not willing to accept their own biological parents at this point in time. Although you should be accepting of the situation, you must also have some amount of power to delegate responsibilities and punishments accordingly. As with anything else, these children should treat you with respect, the same respect they show for people of authority and teachers of their school. It is important to find a balance between being an authority figure and being their friend. Teens, as a general rule, do not accept things very easily, especially a new parent that is seen as replacing the biological one that is now gone.

Most situations do not end up becoming very problematic, however one situation in particular can be very stressful. This is the question of how your step children address you. Whether they address you as mom or dad is an issue that can become very tense. It also implies that you're taking the place of the original parent, which is definitely not what you should be trying to do. Usually it just takes a little bit of time before the children will decide on their own whether or not they should call you mom or dad. Until then, it's much easier if they just call you by your first name.

In the final analysis, having a ready-made family will come with it's own set of constraints, different than those experienced by two people who don't have any children when they marry. Whether you are marrying late in life or are the victim of a divorce or a spouse who died, it won't be out of the ordinary in today's environment to start your new marriage as a stepparent. Two of the biggest skills you can develop in order to make your new marriage a success and learn how best to fill your role as step-parent is flexibility and, of course, patience. These will stand you in good stead while you are discovering what part you will play in the lives of your stepchildren.

For much more help and advice in cases when you and your partner experiencing partnership problems that will affect your children as well as on your marital relationship check this or take a look at the following page at http://gethimbackforevermatthuston.com/ and learn useful tactics to get your husband back and to fix your partnership.

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