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The Height Of Societal Illiteracies

By Expert Author: Roger Jenkins

'I' before 'E' except after 'C'
Unless it rhymes with '-AY'
The zeitgeist of our time is to label such grammar rules as 'weird' or, even worse, to treat them like some sort of foreign apartheid imposition. I would like to seize this opportunity to reignite discussion with those who claim the grammar principle in question has proven unscientific. Albeit there may be a few known exceptions, I would neither dismiss nor ignore the inaccuracies perpetuated by those who would heist our ancient tool of teaching before they deinstitutionalize the younger generation's minds, which already suffer from school absenteeism and low levels of protein. My conscience won't let such conspiracies propagate these inaccuracies. I shall use my sleight-of-mind to reinform you as to why our schools must return to teaching such efficient rules.
First, let me be direct. I don't pretend to be proficient in grammar, either in its written or spoken form. But we as adults owe it to our species to either teach our children without tiptoeing around the basics, or be happy seeing them become counterfeits in a deficient system. Policies need to be put in place wherein students develop solid intellectual groundwork as part of a larger social conscience before they start to see themselves as sovereigns.
Not all agree. Many would like our youth to forfeit a basic education, causing them to develop immature tendencies. How many children do you know who are always hopped up on caffeine or laughing as a friend chugs down a stein of beer? Herein is the problem: new forms of teaching which encourage free thought seem fancier, but the chanciest way to raise a child is in agreeing with fads just because they are 'new'.
Being a former educator, it nearly gives me a seizure when students argue against such basic grammar rules as the one posted at the head of this article. What, has some omniscient grammar deity revealed prophecies to some prescient students relegating the old school of thought to plebeian status? If so, why must I also pay obeisance? Basic knowledge is the foundation of future success. We are raising children, not rottweilers. What kind of scientist would a seismologist be if he couldn't tell granite from gneiss? Or what kind of linguist of ancient languages can't understand cuneiform? Even to become a farmer one must be able to tell a bull from a heifer. But like a poltergeist, society is secretly slipping codeine to the concierge of our minds, causing us to sleep when we should be hoeing the garden of our children's future. You would never invest in eider down without first consulting a financier, nor would you abseil without a rope. Why would you send your child into the working world unprepared, when vacancies are already so rare?


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